I lay in bed awake, the gears continue to turn in my head! I toss and turn, never finding a position that is quite suitable! Restless, my body aches, my muscles throb from complete fatigue, my hands are blistered and cut, and I want nothing more than to fall asleep! But I am bound in the chains of unforgiving pain, I try to fight it.Yet, I can't. I can't sleep, I cant rest, I can't even think of closing one eye! For every time I try its louder and the pain and agony gets more intense!

Its, like the pounding never stops! It continues on and on and on! I just want it to go away, I want it to be silent! It doesn't stop! I cry out in fits of rage, anger, hatred, disgust, but it continues, the knocking, the pounding, never stops. Why? WHY? WHY? cant it stop, why wont it go away? Why, cant I sleep in peace at night and dream the night away, Why OH lord Why? 

 I find myself, many nights in this state, confused frustrated, angry, feel like I am all alone, and yet the knocking never stops! But instead of "opening the door" I close it tighter and barricade it off! leave me alone is what my body and mind is saying, but my heart is saying open the door! But I shut off the lights and act like no one is home, and yet it continues louder, and the frustration builds, and the pain of the night builds as the darkness creeps over! Finally I jump out of bed and stumble over something to flip on the lights. Even more angry now, 

with

a tongue full of poison taking control, everything in the darkness has been revealed. Every crack, every corner, everything that we thought was hidden. Its all in the light. 

I look at my feet in conviction, and realized what I have stumbled over, my bible, the word, the lamp unto my feet, and the light unto my path! "For this reason I say to you, awake oh sleeper and arise from the dead and Christ will shine on you! For you were formerly Darkness but now you are light in the Lord! 

-ANONYMOUS

I FOUND THIS AND THOUGHT IT TO BE PRETTY INTERESTING, SO I THOUGHT I'D PLACE IT ON MY BLOG, HOPE YOU ENJOY IT AND THAT IS GOT YOU THINK AS IT DID ME!

LOVING THE MADNESS

-BS

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ME!

I decided its time for a change! Since depression has set in from being out of work for over 2 months now, I have found myself sleeping in untill one or two in the afternoon and then filling myself with fastfood! Wow what a toll its taken on me! But hey its a new year and never to late to change! RIGHT! Well here is what I look like now!

I never thought I would let myself get to this point but I have! UGH. What do I do! Well I would like you to meet a friend of mine that said my new years resolution could come true with help from him, and letting myself get a little pep back in my step! His name is Richard! YES YOU GUESSED IT RICHARD! THE ONE AND ONLY! He is going to help me out so much and he said if I

really try, I mean really try I may be able to even look like he did at my age! When he told me that I was shocked, I through away that double stuffed borrito I was eating and I went to work! Im going to look like richard did! Now what do you think about that! I am one sexy machin! Ok, OK OK OK, enough is enough, just have a happy new year and dont let yourself look like the first picture! hahahahah

Loving The MADnesS

-BS

Busy.... Busy..... Busy.... Everyone is so busy this time of year amd often miss the small moments of life! Well i was looking at some pictures taken not to long ago, and realized that I not only missed small little moments that I could never regain, but ones that would have left a print on me forever! Thanks to such an amazing mother who takes pictures without us knowing sometimes, I got to look back on a few moments and thought I would share one with you! Victoria is an amazing little girl who I absolutely LOVE, and she for some reason loves me back! Take time to stop and enjoy the little moments, they pass so fast and never will return! So at this time of year as we look to and remember the true meaning of Christmas as our savior being born! Stop and love those who mean the most to you even if it means having to be uncomfortable! Love is a GREAT gift God has given, dont miss out on the little momments!!!!

-BS

Anti-terror

THE PATRIOT MICRO CHIP is intended to be implanted in terrorists. The implant is specifically designed to be installed in the forehead.

When properly installed it will allow the implantee to speak to God.

It comes in various sizes:

The exact size of the implant will be selected by a well-trained and highly-skilled technician.The implant may or may not be painless.Side effects, like headaches and nausea, are temporary.Some bleeding or swelling may occur at the injection site. Please enjoy the security we provide for you. Best regards,

family

Last night I had the amazing time playing like I was ten again with my "little" brothers in the snow! We got home around 11:45 and decided that Ben and I were going to build a snow fort for all the kids! So we got our snow clothes on and went out with Ox. We had a blast and soon enough we were having so much fun that Bryan had to come join in. We were out for a good Hour and a half atleast, and another half hour of laughing at the bimbo trying to plow the lot across the street! What a joke. it was pretty funny! Man to be ten again and have no worries and just get to play outside with your siblings. What an amazing thing! The memories that were brought back and the memories that were made. Its Christmas! Isnt that what this time of year is all about! Christ beng born, and our love for our family!

Baby Good bye doesnt mean forever!

Well today has been full of mix feelings for me! I sold my pride and joy! My JEEP! I never thought I would get rid of her! But I did! But you know what, like the song by hootie and the blowfish! BABY GOODBYE DOESNT MEAN FOREVER, BABY GOODBYE DOESNT MEAN WILL NEVER SEE EACHOTHER AGAIN!!!! I will get another jeep! ANyone wanna buy my 05 Ford F250 superduty! its diesel and its pretty amazing! I want a jeep!